The Bun Belt Observatory · fan page
“In the vacuum, no one can hear you nibble.”
The space bun squirrel (Astrosciurus bulkinus) is the only known mammal that lives, naps and snacks in open space. A colony was first charted in the Bun Belt — a dusty asteroid ring between Mars and the Great Bakery Comet — where gravity is weak and the baking is legendary.
An adult squirrel unfurls its tail into a golden solar sail, stuffs its cheek pouches with a week of buns, and drifts from rock to rock leaving a faint, buttery trail across the void.
The tail works as a sail: pointed at the Sun it fills with light, pointed away it folds into a rudder. For sharp manoeuvres the squirrel bites a bun in half and vents the crumbs aft through a special nozzle — engineers call it the crumb-ion drive; squirrels call it Tuesday.
Landing is simpler: they aim at something soft, fold the sail, and trust the pastry. Observatory records list zero crash landings and four hundred and twelve unintended picnics.
It held the bun with both paws and saluted the sunrise. Twice. There are two suns out here, it turns out. — Observers’ log, day 41
Do not offer a croissant. They know it is not a bun. They always know. — Field etiquette, page one